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TV License Correspondence

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I got rid of my TV years ago. In Ireland you have to pay an annual TV license fee. An Post sends out regular enforcement letter to homes that do not have a TV License. At first I was kind of annoyed about the rather threatening letters, but as time has gone on I just have fun making ridiculously friendly and goofy replies.

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Date: Wed, 3 Jun 2009 11:02:27 +0100
From: Kevin Lyda
To: Dublin TV Licence
Subject: Account number XXXXXXXXXX

Dear [Name Withheld]:

This email is in regards to your letter of 26 April 2009 in which you
reference account number XXXXXXXXXX.  You state that I face a number
of fines if I lack a TV license.  You also state that an inspector
stopped by and left a card of some sort.

Several years ago I informed your office that I don't have a TV or
anything that can receive a TV signal.  Furthermore I work - usually
leaving my flat at 7am and getting home around 8 or 9pm.  Which is why
I don't have a "TV, aerial, dish or TV enabled computer" in my flat
and is also why your inspector seems unable to contact me.

If the inspector would like to stop by he is free to ring me at 086
817 2934 and arrange a time.  With planning I can work from home some
days - which means the inspector would have all day to stop by.

Since I apparently have an account number, is there any way you could
arrange to have this information filed with that account number?  And
if you must send future correspondence, perhaps in lieu of letters
about fines and legal proceedings you could politely ask if my
circumstances have changed and if I've purchased a TV.

Thanks for your time,

Kevin
----------------
Date: Mon, 8 Jun 2009 10:03:24 +0100
From: Dublin TV Licence
To: Kevin Lyda
Subject: RE: Account number XXXXXXXXXX

Dear Kevin

Thank you for your e-mail. An Post are required, by law,t o check from
time to time whether any address that does not have a current tv licence
on record is in possession of a tv set. I appreciate that when there is
no set at the address, as in your case, this can be annoying but we are
required to check at least once a year.

However, I have taken note that there is no set at the address.
Incidentally, tv licence inspectors don't make appointments to call -
that would give people who have a tv set a chance to hide it during a
visit, so they have to be spot checks.

Thanks again

[Name Withheld]
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Date: Wed, 15 Mar 2017 09:23:31 +0000
From: Kevin Lyda
To: Galway TV Licence
Subject: Still no TV...

Dear [Name Withheld],

Hi again.

This is in reference to your letter dated 09/03/2017 (ref XXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXX). We last corresponded in October 2016 (ref XXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXX)
where I informed you that I still lack a TV. That hasn't changed.

You do note that a TV license inspector stopped by which is odd. While I'm
not home 24/7, I do work from home. It is weird that we keep missing each
other.

Anyway, hope all is well. Please make a note of my lack of a TV. Also, I
highly recommend the Escape Pod science fiction podcast. Check it out
sometime.

Have a nice day,

Kevin
----------------
Date: Wed, 15 Mar 2017 16:28:17 +0000
From: Galway TV Licence
To: Kevin Lyda
Subject: RE: Still no TV...

Dear Kevin,

Many Thanks.

I have noted your e/mail, and our Inspector will revisit to confirm.

[Name Withheld]

Tv Licence Records Office
An Post
Galway
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Date: Tue, 03 Oct 2017 13:49:19 +0000
From: Kevin Lyda
To: Galway TV Licence
Subject: No TV...

Dear [Name Withheld],

This is in reference to your letter dated 30/09/2017 (ref. XXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXX). We last corresponded on 09/03/2017 (ref XXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXX) where I
informed you that I still have no TV. That situation has still not changed.

I am aware of the law and if I ever purchase a TV I will most definitely
purchase a license.

As I've mentioned in previous correspondence I'm often home on weekday
business hours. And in spite of your commitment of an inspector visit,
none have yet appeared. Though obviously in the past month there's been
a desperate chest infection going around. Even got a dose myself a few
weeks ago. Hopefully your inspectors get flu shots - I was clearly a
bit slow in getting mine. Please let them know they are always more than
welcome and that I was asking after them.

Do note that the biscuits I purchased for the occasion last March have
unfortunately expired but I shall try to remember to replace them.

Lastly is it possible to to send these TV License Notices electronically?
While I do so enjoy these biannual conversations, it honestly would be
a bit easier for me if I didn't have to type the reference numbers in. I
worry that I might get them wrong and don't want to mess up your records.

Yours, etc.

Kevin Lyda
----------------
Date: Thu, 5 Oct 2017 11:03:35 +0000
From: Galway TV Licence
To: Kevin Lyda
Subject: RE: No TV...

Dear Kevin,

Many Thanks.

I will post you a Statutory Declaration for completion confirming you
still have no tv set.

Please return this in the accompanying envelope.

No it is not possible at present to send the notices electronically.

[Name Withheld]

Tv Licence Records Office
An Post
Galway